I'm not a competitive person. I don't enjoy the thrill of the game, the chase, the hunt, or any other euphemism that refers to competing, outdoing or besting others. That's probably the main reason I didn't continue along the path that lead me to, and out of, college.
I majored in Theatre Arts -- just straight theatre, no musical attached. I kind of fell into it by way of not being competitive. See, I started acting in high school when my first choice, Marketing, fell through. Why did it fall through? Other than the fact that I'm NOT a marketing person, it happened that this particular course was owned by the Popular Kids. You know, the group I wasn't a part of because I wasn't. . .competitive. (Let's face it, part of what makes the Popular Kids cling together - and against others - is their like-minded competitiveness.)
See a trend?
So, my fall back course was Drama. Not because I wanted to take it, but because it was available for enrollment. And I joined. And I loved it. It was shocking at first, because I was very shy and nervous about speaking in front of others, that I enjoyed that class so much. But the reason my interest developed was because my wonderful teacher made me feel like I was good at it.
I was always a great student. I made excellent grades - graduated in the top 10% of my class. I was in choir, marching and concert band. I was a respectful girl who didn't cause problems. But I never felt like I was particularly good at anything. Then I took Drama. And she made me feel like I was.
But wait -- I'm not an actress. I didn't go on to become a successful director or producer with my name topping playbills and marquees.
Ah, yes, but I'm not finished.
I realized not too long ago that my choices in life have often been based on what others think of my skills or have given me the confidence to try. But I've never had too much self-confidence when it comes to myself. Except for with one thing. . .
Writing.
I started writing as soon as I could read. My imagination was wild with stories, and I practiced all the time. Sometimes it was good, a lot of times it was morbid (says my mother), and it was frequently bad. But I practiced. And I kept at it all the way through high school (where my 12th grade English teacher sarcastically told me I write like Ernest Hemingway), through summer jobs (where my good friend STILL begs me to finish a story I started 15 years ago), through college (where I did independent studies with my mentor because I ran out of actual writing courses), through graduate school (where I earned an MA in English with a Creative Writing emphasis) to my career (where I'm an internationally-based ESL instructor whose first love is teaching writing).
But it just occurred to me (this evening, actually) that I've almost never finished anything I started (sans a couple of short stories - one that was published in my graduate school's journal), and a big reason for this is I know what happens when you finish the story. The next logical step for many writers is to attempt publication.
And therein lies my problem: competition.
Perhaps that is the reason behind this blog. Perhaps I just want to ramble on about things now and then. Perhaps I'm trying to build up the confidence to finish something and send it off to be reviewed, rejected, reviewed, rejected, reviewed,. . .
All I know is, right now, I'm in my own little corner doing something I really love to do, and I'd like to share it with you. If you'll join me, I'll be glad to have you along for the ride.
I majored in Theatre Arts -- just straight theatre, no musical attached. I kind of fell into it by way of not being competitive. See, I started acting in high school when my first choice, Marketing, fell through. Why did it fall through? Other than the fact that I'm NOT a marketing person, it happened that this particular course was owned by the Popular Kids. You know, the group I wasn't a part of because I wasn't. . .competitive. (Let's face it, part of what makes the Popular Kids cling together - and against others - is their like-minded competitiveness.)
See a trend?
So, my fall back course was Drama. Not because I wanted to take it, but because it was available for enrollment. And I joined. And I loved it. It was shocking at first, because I was very shy and nervous about speaking in front of others, that I enjoyed that class so much. But the reason my interest developed was because my wonderful teacher made me feel like I was good at it.
I was always a great student. I made excellent grades - graduated in the top 10% of my class. I was in choir, marching and concert band. I was a respectful girl who didn't cause problems. But I never felt like I was particularly good at anything. Then I took Drama. And she made me feel like I was.
But wait -- I'm not an actress. I didn't go on to become a successful director or producer with my name topping playbills and marquees.
Ah, yes, but I'm not finished.
I realized not too long ago that my choices in life have often been based on what others think of my skills or have given me the confidence to try. But I've never had too much self-confidence when it comes to myself. Except for with one thing. . .
Writing.
I started writing as soon as I could read. My imagination was wild with stories, and I practiced all the time. Sometimes it was good, a lot of times it was morbid (says my mother), and it was frequently bad. But I practiced. And I kept at it all the way through high school (where my 12th grade English teacher sarcastically told me I write like Ernest Hemingway), through summer jobs (where my good friend STILL begs me to finish a story I started 15 years ago), through college (where I did independent studies with my mentor because I ran out of actual writing courses), through graduate school (where I earned an MA in English with a Creative Writing emphasis) to my career (where I'm an internationally-based ESL instructor whose first love is teaching writing).
But it just occurred to me (this evening, actually) that I've almost never finished anything I started (sans a couple of short stories - one that was published in my graduate school's journal), and a big reason for this is I know what happens when you finish the story. The next logical step for many writers is to attempt publication.
And therein lies my problem: competition.
Perhaps that is the reason behind this blog. Perhaps I just want to ramble on about things now and then. Perhaps I'm trying to build up the confidence to finish something and send it off to be reviewed, rejected, reviewed, rejected, reviewed,. . .
All I know is, right now, I'm in my own little corner doing something I really love to do, and I'd like to share it with you. If you'll join me, I'll be glad to have you along for the ride.
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